This is the question that plagues folks who were built like me. How am I built? In short, I achieve great satisfaction when I can relate to people. Others who have a similar psychological genetic makeup find it quite easy to make friends and bond with people from all sorts of backgrounds. Some may call us chameleons since we can seemingly blend in with any crowd. Some other names for our type include connector and bridger. Now it’s one thing to make friends utilizing this type of adaptive ability, but then it’s another thing to actually support friends.

People go through experiences that not everyone is able to relate to, and in most cases, this fact is what keeps most people sane. You may have a friend who you care about, deeply. Your friend goes through some tremendous difficulty that you have never experienced, so you offer the support that you can within the limits of your ability…and you are fine with that. You’ve done your best. This is not the case with “chameleons”, who often times ignore these limitations thinking they can relate to any situation if they just try hard enough.

What happens when chameleons ignore their limitation to relate to others? The chameleon himself may handle the limitation with difficulty, viewing the limitation as a blemish in his character. “Why can I relate to everyone, yet when it comes to comforting a friend in need I am worthless?” The friend of the chameleon may view the chameleon as prying, or trying too hard to relate to them. “You haven’t gone through the exact same experience, how can you understand? Why do you want to understand so badly? Just drop it!” This leaves the chameleon in a state of anxiety as he is stuck at this point.

I recently came across such anxiety and compare this feeling to that of my mother who wanted to support me while I was going through an identity crisis in a way that she would never understand. There really wasn’t much she could do, but faithfully pray for me. As a maturing chameleon, I realize that there is great hope that comes from Jesus, who can sympathize with our weaknesses, being tempted in all things. Since Jesus can relate to anyone, I do have a way of supporting anyone by depending on Him to comfort those struggling with their own shortcomings and temptations. (Hebrews 4:15) Yes, Christ is the perfect mediator between man and God, and also between man and man.

The message of “The Words I Would Say” by Sidewalk Prophets really touched me. The song talks about a guy who’s writing these words of encouragement to a friend going through hard times, so in turn I pray these same words acknowledging that He is strong when I am weak and limited:

Be strong in the Lord
And never give up hope
You’re gonna do great things
I already know
God’s got His hand on You
So don’t live life in fear
Forgive and forget
But don’t forget why you’re here
Take your time and pray
These are the words I would say

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